I am going to swim today.
I am going to swim today and Jimmy can’t stop me. I will push him out of the way. I will knock him down. I will step on his back. Walk over him. I will punch him in the mouth. I will do whatever I can to make sure that I swim before Jimmy. Jimmy is the sort of boy that makes you wonder why would anyone ever marry a boy? Jimmy is the sort of boy that makes you wonder why boys even exist in the first place? I hate boys. Boys are the worst. They smell. They’re sticky. And sometimes I wonder how much better my life will be if I never meet a boy ever again for the rest of my life. What if the world was just run by women? What if women were the only things to ever exist? The world would be so soft. The world would be so calm. We would grow humans like we grow corn. On husks. We would pick them when they are ready. Knee high by the fourth of July. Crops of little girls just growing waiting to join us. Ready to give love. Ready to swim with me. Ready to jump into the deep end. Ready to make a splash. I will run. No matter what the sign says. I will run. Run for president. Of anything. The world. I am going to run. And, today, I am going to swim. And I am going to swim before Jimmy. And he cannot stop me.