Bible Stories
Kevin and Arthur sit side by side on a dilapidated couch. Arthur is reading a book, and Kevin is playing a video game. Arthur looks up. Pointedly uses a bookmark to hold his place, and closes the book. Kevin plays his video game. Arthur turns to face Kevin and stares.
pause
Kevin plays his video game.
Arthur picks lint off the couch and flicks it away while he continues to stare at Kevin.
Kevin, plays his video game.
pause
pause
Arthur (suddenly): Let’s play a game. I will describe some stories, and you tell me where they come from.
Kevin: Oh! I love games! I know every show that’s been on for the last 30 years… and I’ve Netflixed the rest. You’re on!”
Arthur: Sure, OK, so for the first one… once there was this man. He was lazy and stupid,
constantly over indulging. Everything that was given to him, he squandered away until there was nothing. And yet his family forgave him.”
Kevin: Homer Simpson?”
Arthur: No, I forgot to tell you, I was talking about a son. OK another part of the story….there was actually a father in this part, who sent his son away. He wanted his son to join him, but he tested the son every step of the way. It caused great internal struggle and sadness in the son, but he ultimately loved his father and tried to always do what was right.”
Kevin: Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker!”
Arthur: Nope. Let’s see… There was another story about a man who was tested. No matter the tribulations placed upon he and his family, he remained loyal, if not befuddled no matter how many misfortunes befell upon him.”
Kevin: Ned Stark”
Arthur: No.”
Kevin: Are you sure it’s not Homer Simpson this time?”
Arthur: No. I mean yes! I mean it’s not him!”
Kevin: Uhhh, I don’t know if I want to play anymore.”
pause
-Arthur picks up his book again, he opens the book and removes the bookmark with painstaking care. Just as he begins to read-
Kevin: I lied.
Arthur: (continues to look at his book while speaking) There was a boy who was chosen. He was given a distinctive look to show the world he was special. His family was jealous and sent him away. In this strange place he went to he say many wonders-”
Kevin: Harry Potter?”
Arthur: Nope. There was the one who lost powers with a hair cut-”
Kevin: Tangled!”
Arthur: And the little guy going up against a massive monster, and winning-”
Kevin: Doctor Who? Frodo Baggins? Super Mario?”
Arthur: No.”
Kevin: I GIVE UP!”
Arthur: The one with the snake-”
Kevin: GI JOE! Cobra Commander never stood a chance.”
Arthur: Neither did I apparently.”